So, on the second day, I had a mild (?) panic attack today. Actually, it was this evening. My right leg started hurting as i drove to dinner. This made me start to think about the long days of driving coming up.
I wondered if I can’t make it out of Tennessee without being in pain, how will I make it across the country? Or even to Fort Smith, Arkansas? And then I thought about not finishing this journey, which really is a journey, not a destination.
And then I had an irrational fear something would happen to Eleanor, and then it was down the rabbit hole.
I called my best friend, she said, “You are under no obligation to do this.” Not helpful. Not sure what I needed, and know she is right, but….ugh.
Texted my therapist who said, “The fear of the thing is bigger than the thing.” Right.
Talked to Brandi, who said, “Take your time. You said you could take extra days if needed.” And I did, but I was/am afraid extra days may not help.
But then Brandi and I figured it up, and I only have to make it to Monday (when I will be out of Arkansas, Oklahoma and Texas) and the really fun parts of the trip begin.
And I can do that. I have to look at it one day at a time. No more, no less. This is a marathon, not a sprint.
I got this. Right?